Don't Panic

Marilyn P. Johnson Don’t Panic July 7th 2009

I asked Kay to investigate the dying tree on our property line by the trailer park. I went off to do errands and took my time coming home. Kay exploded as I pulled in the driveway. A utility pole had fallen on one of our fifty-year-old evergreen trees and the tree had died. It must have happened during the June rain storms. By the time I got home he was out of control and very upset. He called Jeff Ball of City of Fernley building Department. Jeff came and talked with Kay for a long time. He said the management of the motel next door will probably not do anything about this situation, and he had dealt with other problems with them with no results in the past. Jeff called the power company and recommended that we call them also.


I was frightened and had a hard time going to sleep thinking about a possible fire loss our home and even our lives. I woke up in the middle of the night in a panic. I tried reading, got up to the restroom many times, didn’t have the heart to wake Kay who was a sleep on the couch in front of the TV. I wrote notes about what we should do. In the morning I reminded Kay to call the fire station He did but was so casual and asked the fire chief to call him back. Panic again. I even yelled at Kay that he should have told the person more on the phone about this problem. He reminded me I should not get upset but to take it easy. I tried to distract myself and got ready for my computer lesson. But my teacher, Wesley called and said he couldn’t come and would come the next day Nervously, I took off to do errands and make pictures of our humming bird at Wal-Mart.


As I pulled into the driveway Kay rushed to me and asked where I had been. He explained about the calls to the fire station and they were too busy, to call back. He finally called 911 and told the dispatcher about the fire danger situation. The fire engine arrived and the driver talked to Kay. The fireman was in contact with the power company and their truck arrived in about 45 minutes and shut off the power to the pole. He said this is an old problem and they had checked this situation a year ago. He called for more help. He reported it to another office to send a man from Sierra Pacific and he came. But no one wanted to take the responsibility for the situation. They explained that this is an old problem. They would try to get the owner to take care of this long overdue problem.

I was not feeling well and the wait was getting to me. I realized I was making my self sick. The snowballing unsolved problem was getting to me. Needles to say, it was impossible to feel peaceful and the” fire fear” attack was taking over. It was overwhelming my good judgment.
Looking back I realized that I had not tried to find a way out of this problem.

Several years ago, Jim Peters, a sociologist, had taught me a way to relax when my thinking was out of control. Jim was working with some of my students in the first grade helped me with my youngest son too. He came to my home after school and tried to help me with meditation. I laid on the couch and he tasked me ito find a picture in my mind of something I liked, maybe some thing out in nature. I did that and talked about the beautiful view out our front window. I had a cool, wet cloth over my eyes. Jim asked me what I was thinking. I described the irrigation ditch, the tall grass on the banks and the fields and trees and the skyline of the mountain in great detail.


Jim stopped me, “ Marilyn, you are painting this picture in your mind. STOP. This is not to be a painting it is only a quick image that you visualize when you are impatient, waiting in traffic for a red light to change. This will train controlling your mind is to let go for a few seconds, to relax your mind so as not to over react and make you ill.”
I had forgotten all about this mind exercise that Jim taught me some twenty years ago.
This picture that I accidentally made of my self in the computer a few weeks ago might be a good image to store in my mind to use when I start down the road of endless panic. I must practice seeing this image so it will be available when I need it.

* * *

“Marilyn, Marilyn come quick the second hummer is standing on the edge of her nest getting ready to leave.” As we watched Zip, we heard the mother zooming in to help her. We backed a few steps away. The mother flew down to her baby and spread her wings in slow motion. They flew off together. Some books say that the mother hummers abandon their nest and the little ones so they must find food for themselves. But not this Mother Hummer.

Kay held me and we said a prayer for our humming bird. We prayed that they would have a long life and a safe trip to migration some 2,000. miles away when winter comes.